You Win.

Website over. My job is done, my mission complete. There is no more reason to have this blog after you see who applied for a job today.

http://edmondchoi.com/aboutus.aspx

Peace out

You're Hired!

PRO-TIP: It's better to just say you've been unemployed for the last three years, trust me.
As for Thunder Ranch, that sounds vaguely familiar... umm... I gotta go...

Uh-oh

At least we'd get a lot of press! We have a policy against smoking cigars in front of customers though :(

It's a new era...

Resume fail is going to be overflowing with ineptitude and laziness over the next few months. Our company is growing, bigtime, and you know what that means!

I need to review about 1000 resumes, get your crash helmets on...

Reports R You

Nothing against people that have a different primary language, but know your limitations man...

"Employ me because the bottom line is I will make you money.I have A Bachelor of Science Information Technology degree and I understand the business concept.I have the ability to write and present reports. I write superb reports with minimal effort. What this means for you is well informed client and staff. An informed client is a happy client. This will also reduce the non-profitable report writing that the more experienced and profitable team members have to do -- instead, they can be out there making you more money!"

Time to Update the Resume

R.I.P.

Does not compute

Lots wrong here.
I want to know what "12,000+Keystrokes" means. Per minute? Per hour? If you can type 65 words, that means your average word is 184 characters long? You can type 200 keystrokes per second? Or maybe it means you are capable of pressing 12,000 buttons. Well sir, I am not impressed.

Oh and you can type alpha AND NUMERIC?? BETTER PUT THAT ON MY RESUME
And since it's an IT job, i suppose it's key that you are skilled in the electronic mail. No argument there.

Pro-Tip

Bad idea to send out resumes from your corporate email address, especially when you report directly to the network administrator.

ut-oh

were you strapped? Did it need to go in your butt? this is the info i need to have people

No.

No, no, no no non xxnononoonononoxx

The Best Resume Quote Ever

"As a catholic school student from preschool to college I have been taught to think outside the box."

I love this sentence for some reason

I have worked in a grocery store as a pool technician and for a law office all of which needed excellent people skills weather on the phone or in person

'kay

Is this a dating site? I'm available too ladies.

That's DEEP.

Typing Speed Fail

Someone, tell me if I'm wrong, but isn't that really slow?

Knowing your Audience

Likely just a generic copy paste spam reply, but still... do you even read the ad?
COMPUTER TECH JOB. Also, I rarely hire stealth assassins. I mean, it's possible, you just have to prove you haven't killed in the last three months. I don't ask much.



PS what are tag outs and tub foots and why is that something to put on a resume?

Nice Double Fail

I didn't know you could claim emerging technology that doesnt exist yet as a core competency. NEAT!



Here's some cutting edge emerging tech right here!

Something is Wrong

This might be SoCal specific, but she's lived there for at least a couple years, and she can't spell the name of the city she lives in...

I can see you are very meticulous.

Work Experience Fail

When you proudly state 15 years of experience at the top of the resume, then only list a job you had in 2010...

I don't know. I'm sad now.

Subject Fail

Hey how yuu doin'? Not too good I guess considering you've only worked at KFC.

From Russia with < 3

I'd like to work with you too. Unfortunately, I need computer techs, not russian mail order brides.

I might have techs that need russian mail order brides, but that's besides the point.

Also, carwasher? WTF?

Appreciate the Resume

Speaks for itself (as usual)

Public Education Fail

Resume Template Fail

Objective

Seeking a position of ********* with ********.