Work Experience Fail

When you proudly state 15 years of experience at the top of the resume, then only list a job you had in 2010...

I don't know. I'm sad now.

Subject Fail

Hey how yuu doin'? Not too good I guess considering you've only worked at KFC.

From Russia with < 3

I'd like to work with you too. Unfortunately, I need computer techs, not russian mail order brides.

I might have techs that need russian mail order brides, but that's besides the point.

Also, carwasher? WTF?